moves-like-flower:

I lost a follower on twitter because I made this joke.


averagefairy:

what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no


comedyblogger:

drinking underage like


"Isn’t it boring being on an all vegetable diet?"

veganprobs:

image

you tell me


ja-mbles:

humpinghippogriffs:

seerofkarkittens:

pipjustice:

keepcalmanduseyourpatronus:

shlabam:

Never hang out with anyone who says “feminist” the same way Draco Malfoy says “mudblood”.

This is the best way to explain this.

never hang out with anyone who says “men” the same way malfoy says “mudblood” either

Never hang out with anyone who says anything like “mudblood”

unless it’s “vegetables”

image


catswithbenefits:

you know whats better than a mozerella stick?

37 mozzarella sticks



314eater:

prevalere:

you know how in some movies the bride/groom calls off the wedding to be with the person they truly love and then they live happily ever after well it’s pretty shitty that the person they were getting married to doesn’t actually get a happy ending but no one seems to care about it to the point that he/she is not even mentioned afterwards as if that person didn’t exist or had feelings at all yeah just a thought

Lord farquaad will be okay


crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?


communismkills:

P.S. The real world isn’t going to accommodate you and your “comfort.” When you get off Tumblr, there aren’t any trigger warnings. Wearing a nametag with your “gender identity” on it would be absolutely laughable. You’ll have to learn to be an adult and deal with people without being psychotic and wishing death on them.


sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”


pussyxriot:

THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CATS IF CATS COULD TALK THIS IS WHAT THEY WOULD SAY


laughhard:

Rugrats was really twisted.


ughjxnna:

OH MY GOD THIS CARD